Why?
by CAT217
Summary: Extended scene from "Unwritten Rule". Jamie has questions. Yet are there answers.


Missing scene from "Unwritten Rule"

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"To the fallen," Frank raised his glass. "To Joe."

Jamie sat there listening to the toast. The fallen. He had come so close to being one of those fallen. Instead Vinny. Why? Why had he been spared? Vinny hadn't been that lucky.

"I've got to get home." Erin looked down at her watch.

"Good job sis." Danny beamed.

"Good job yourself." She replied with a wink.

"So you two aren't going to tell us what you did to nail Reed?" Asked Frank.

"Nope." Danny grinned, he looked over at Jamie who was staring into the brown liquid. "You alright kid?"

"Why?"

"Cause you look like you want to take a swim in your glass."

"No, not that." Jamie looked up at his older brother. "Why was I spared and why was Vinny killed?"

Danny and Frank glanced over at each other then looked down at Jamie. "I wish there was an easy answer. But there's not. The only thing I can say is wasn't your time." Frank choked out.

"My time? Really?" Shot Jamie. "I watched Vinny, held him in my arms while his life faded. While his blood seeped into my uniform, stained my hands. And it's just not my time. That makes me feel so much better." Growled Jamie as he swigged the last of his drink.

"Hey if you want some fuzzy all warm feeling words to make you feel better well tough. Jamie nothing makes sense of what happend a few months back. And it never will. There are no words of comfort, I wish there was. I wish there was some magical spell, or some way to make it better but there's not." Danny told his brother.

"I know, I just want to know when it all stops? When I stop seeing that day replay in my head? I replay it, I'm the one- I'm the one who took that bullet and died. When does it all stop?" Jamie cried.

"Jamie, you've got us let us be your strength let us be there for you." Frank offered.

Jamie ignored his father continueing, "I've got a new partner, she's a spit fire. I look at her and I wonder will the same thing happen to her that happened to Vinny?" Jamie honestly asked. "Will I fail?"

"No one knows what the future holds. All we can do is make the best decisions that we know how. We aren't promised tomorrow. As for your new partner she is a spit fire. Tony told me he was pairing her with you. Thought it was a good idea. Thought that you might need the distraction. You've got a lot of wisdom to offer." Frank informed Jamie. "Your a good cop, I can't tell you how many people within the department is impressed with you."

"Let's just hope I don't get her killed." Spat Jamie.

"Feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to do you any good." Danny corrected him. "I've been on the force a lot longer then you. So you listen up, cops die, that is the chance we take when we put on that badge. You're a good cop. Dad's right you need to lean on us. Let us be your strength."

"Son have you been sleeping well?" Frank asked.

Jamie chewed on his lower lip, "not really. Nightmares."

"How long?"

"Since the funeral."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Frank asked.

"You had so much going on, the Mayor being shot."

"That maybe so, but you are what is important. Why don't you stay here for a while. Not going home to an empty apartment." Offered Frank.

Jamie rolled the empty glass between his hands, thinking over the offer. "I don't want to be an inconvience."

Frank laughed, "never. Then it's settled you'll stay here for how ever long you want." Frank smiled.

"Thanks."

"Jamie listen to me, the pain won't go away. Never does, use it to your advantage. What happened to you and Vinny use it to make yourself a better cop. A stronger person. I know that sounds callus but the other option is self destruction. Neither of us want that." Frank patted Jamie on the shoulder.

Tears sprang to Jamie's eyes. "Thanks dad," he choked out. Jamie sat in the kitchen long after his father had gone to bed, long after Danny had left for home. He sat there mulling over what his father and brother had told him. They were right. Jamie sat there listening to the sounds of the sleeping house, small creaks, voices from the past flowing through the house. "Give me strength." He whispered into the darkness of the house that he grew up in, he learned to walk in, talk in. A house that had always been filled with love. He smlied through the tears, through the pain- somehow with the help of his family he'd find closure. It would be hard it would be a long road yet he would find the strength through his family-the strength to carry on.

The End.

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Hope you guys enjoyed it.


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